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Monday, March 20th, 2006
4:32 pm
Let me just tell you now how much I hate Capital One. It is soooo freaking annoying because all I want is to TALK TO SOMEONE...a real person, not a freakin' computer and I have to jump through hoops to do so. Also, they charge you TEN DOLLARS to pay a bill on the phone which is the most ridiculous thing ever, because what the hell--you are calling to PAY THEM in the first place! So, I go online and pay it, but accidentally pay too little, and now it tells me you can only make one payment per 24 hour period. WHAT THE HELL. Why does it matter how many times you give THEM money in a day? I don't understand the logic behind that at all. Now, all I want is to cancel my credit cards because they are really useless, and I do not want to wait on hold for fifty million hours....*yanks hair out* /rant

Also, someone who is not me has been using my Blockbuster account--and not returning the movies on time. I thought it was Joe, because he had permission to use my account (which I rectified) and I called him and it wasn't. So, I also had to go there and freak out about that. I at least could fix that problem quite easily. Today has been on big freak out. *rolls eyes*

Shayla is trying to crawl, and it's very humorous. My cute babeh...

Now, I have to leave Joel's parents' house and go to the store to buy some things...like kitty food because I have a stray kitty I've been feeding. I'm slowly working on Joel, trying to get him to allow it inside for longer than brief periods of time. Once again, Shayla will be mistaken for a boy because she is wearing a blue shirt...which has a sparkly fairy on it, but nonetheless. I swear, she always is in gender neutral clothes when we go out and people always are confused about it. Although most of the time, she is under a pink blanket, so I don't think it's that difficult.

Wow, it's getting late. Must go.

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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
2:47 pm
Merry Christmas everyoneee! I got a ridiculous amount of presents. And also, Santa came to Joel's parents' house and filled our stockings. I felt like a little kid again.

I had a really odd dream last night. I was in some kind of newspaper class with Karlin and she was working diligently on some page because there was a deadline coming up or something. And for some reason I had some button on my keychain that could make her computer lock up and make it seem as though it froze. So, I push it to make her freak out. And she starts having a heart attack because she thinks she's lost all the work on her page. So, I start cracking up and unlock her computer and she's like, "I hate you!!!" I seriously woke up laughing. It was bizarre. And very random. I can't wait to see people tomorrow. I really want to go out to lunch or something because I want to have a chance to hang out with everyone and talk without being drunk and freaky.

I can't even believe that Shayla is still sleeping. She's been sleeping for like an hour. Weird.

I love everyone. I'll talk to you all later.

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Thursday, November 24th, 2005
4:53 pm
Happy Thanksgiving! I'm overly full, just hanging out at Joel's parents' house. His work gave him a free 20 pound turkey, so we will have tons of leftovers...yum, turkey everything. I can't even believe it's already Thanksgiving. Time goes by so fast.

We were driving on 82nd yesterday and some chick rear-ended us in front of WinCo. There wasn't that much damage to the car or anything, but it was really scary, especially since we had Shayla in the car. I almost had a breakdown because she was SCREAMING. All I could think about was, of course, what if something had happened to her. It's a good thing Joel was the one driving because I probably would have been all hysterical. Took Shayla to the doctor just to be sure, and she was just fine. She was laughing at the doctor's office, so I was pretty sure she was okay, but better safe than sorry. She now weighs 12 lbs 1 oz. *shakes head in amazement*

We're going to go to my mom's later when she gets home from work. I'm sure she's really excited to see the baby, although she'll certainly be asleep by then. Oh! And Shayla slept from 7:40 to 6:00 this morning, then after eating, until 9:15. Crazy. I know, no one cares. heh, but I had to say something about it because I finally got a relatively good night of sleep.

Anyway, gonna go watch a movie and possibly eat dessert (although I'm still stuffed).

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Sunday, October 30th, 2005
5:57 pm
So, I don't have internet right now, so I never update. Oh well, not too much to write about.

Joel and I moved into our own place, which is off of 82nd. It's really nice to have a place to ourselves, as nice as it was living with my best friend. Way too crowded though. Shayla has her own room now, too, which allows me to sleep a little better.

I also transferred to the Johnson Creek Fred Meyer and am now an official Starbucks barista. I've only been working there a week, though, so I'm still rather nervous about being there. It's so hard to leave a job you're so comfortable with and have been working at for two and a half years, despite the fact that you dislike it intensely. I suppose it will get better once I'm faster. It's just sort of hard to be the "new person" and have everyone telling me what to do rather than the other way around. I also miss being able to talk to everyone at the store and everyone knowing me. But, I'll get to know everyone at JC too, I suppose. I fear that I will become addicted to coffee, but other than that, it seems good.

Shayla is doing well. She's getting big, and I need to get a digital camera so I can post more pictures. She's already two months old. Wow, time flies. She's sleeping alot better now. Usually she wakes up twice during the night. She's shrieking right now, but Joel has her. hah.

Karlin and Ry came and saw her yesterday. I really miss them. I miss Ashley. I miss being around people that have a history with me. Still a little lonely.

Only two more months until I'm 21! I'm the last, of course, but there are advantages: mainly that everyone will be able to go out with me if they can on my birthday. It's nice because at least Karlin and Ry will be home for break. I wish Ash could come down as well. Grandma and Grandpa are going to have the little one overnight, so I believe some serious alcohol drinking will commence.

Anyway, I'm going to go. I hope everything is good with everyone. Loves.

current mood: tired

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Monday, September 26th, 2005
6:53 pm
This past weekend was slightly strange, but good. Ashley called me on Saturday night and we talked for the first time since my birthday. Afterwards, Chelsea called me, which was an odd twist.

Sunday night, Ashley and Cass came over and we just talked for hours. It was seriously the best thing ever and just what I needed. Although it just will make me miss everyone more, but I am so happy that we got to get together. I wish Karlin and Ryan had been there though.

I have my WIC appointment tomorrow. Which is good, since it means I get free food and formula but not so good because I have to be sure to be there by 9:30. And I have this hard time getting anything accomplished before noon. Oh well, I'll get there.

I bought a bunch of things for my new place today. I got placemats, a rug, pot holders/oven mitt, dish towels, and various kitchen items. I decided on blue for the kitchen, so everything is very coordinated. Fred Meyer is having a big sale, and I got a bunch of stuff on clearance so I spent much less than I normally would have on all of it. I saved $30 in coupons/employee savings.

I go back to work in two weeks. Blahhh. Oh well, the social interaction shall be good.

Gotta go make dinner now. I'm making stir-fry with turkey breast, mushrooms, snow peas, and peppers. And rice. mmmm.

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Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
1:07 pm
Bah, should be taking a nap but I am of course not tired when Shayla is. And there's so much other stuff I could be doing while she's asleep that I can't accomplish while she's awake that I end up staying up and being tired. I still need to make lunch and I'm sure she'll be awake by the time I cook and eat it. Maybe before.

I am so excited to move. The people that lived in the unit that Joel and I are moving into have already moved so it just needs to be worked on (i.e. put in new carpet/linoleum, paint, etc). We should be in there by no later than the middle of October, first of November at the very latest.

Other good news: I'm going to be transferring to Johnson Creek probably by the first of November. I'm going to be working in the Starbucks that's inside. Karlin, we'll be barista sisters. Heh. I'm way excited because for once I'll be away from food (well, sort of) and though I haven't yet escaped customer service, I've escaped the stupid ones in the deli. Only to be replaced by the new ones that want drinks just so, but oh well. I won't smell like grease and chicken anymore. Yessss. And I'll be working for Roberta, my old boss, who's the best manager ever. And only three days a week.

I really miss everyone.

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Saturday, September 17th, 2005
6:40 pm
Okay, newborn babies get the hiccups so frequently and for such long periods of time. It's sad. Shayla hashad them for like half an hour now. And it sucks because they make her throw up. Such a bonus.

I'm feeling really lonely today and wish that someone was just here for me. It's probably the hormones, you know, "baby blues" and crap like that. But I feel so sad at the moment it's almost intolerable. I don't know, I love having a baby, and don't get me wrong, there are no regrets about it at all; it's probably all the hormones, but it's just so much of my life is different, just in three weeks and it's hard to take it all in. I know it's not true or anything, but I feel immensely less loved since having Shayla. I miss having time to spend with Joel. I miss having time to myself. Blah, it's just new mommyness. Must get used to it.

Mostly sparked by Joel going out without me tonight and not even asking if I wanted to come even though I never get time with him because of his job hours and crap. It's just really difficult when you feel like all you do is take care of the baby and not sleep. He of course has every right to go out with his friend, but it was all the principle of the thing of not even asking me about it and just assuming it was okay with me. Of course, he says "I don't care if you go out with your friends" which makes me laugh because what friends is he talking about? Everyone's gone! And what's more, he won't want to take care of the baby for the entire time I'm away. He's only changed one diaper.

Joel is wonderful and my baby is wonderful, I just have to vent because I feel like I'm going slightly crazy. I wanted to call someone and vent, but can't find my phone which is curious. Anyway, I have to go because I have a squirmy little one in my lap. Adios.

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Friday, September 16th, 2005
10:03 pm
So, it's been almost three whole weeks since Shayla was born. I don't think I've ever been more sleep-deprived in my life, but it's worth it. It's surprising how one can still function on almost no sleep at all. She was doing better with sleeping at night, but then got a cold and wouldn't sleep for like two nights straight. Blahhh.

I took her to the doctor and she is doing great. She gained back all the weight she lost and grew two inches in length. And she's getting a little chubbier now.

It's weird because at times I really miss being pregnant. I don't even know why considering I peed all the time, was uncomfortable and hot, not to mention having numb hands and shortness of breath and not fitting into any clothes. But I miss Shayla kicking in my belly and...I don't know, it's hard to explain, but I'm sure everyone will understand once they've been pregnant. It's probably the hormones that make me feel that way.

Anyway, I'm going to go. I need to finish downloading music.

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Tuesday, August 30th, 2005
6:01 pm
Well, the big day finally came and went! I had my precious little Shayla Nicole on Sunday at 12:08 AM. She came right on her due date, which is really bizarre. Just barely, but it still happened. She was 6 lbs 5 oz and 17 1/2 inches long. She has lots of dark hair, brown eyes and her daddy's monkey toes. :) I can barely believe it happened.

My water broke at 3:00 AM on Saturday and I went to the hospital later that day at about 11. I didn't go into active labor until about 8:00, and I had an epidural, which I would not have been able to live without. Then, I slept for a long time until I woke up feeling the contractions getting stronger. Before I knew it, the nurse was saying, "It's time to have a baby!" and after 15 minutes of pushing, I held my littel girl. Labor in a nutshell: the most horrible and best experience all rolled into one.

She's sleeping right now, which is a rarity at night, and I should sleep too, but I can't sleep for some reason even though I'm extremely tired. I am so sore. I really want to breastfeed, but I'm having a million second thoughts because of how hard it is. Not that everyone wants to hear, but my nipples are cracking and it's sooo painful. I know it's only the second day really, so I shouldn't even be making rash decisions cosidering I've wanted to breastfeed forever since it's better for Shayla and everything, but it just sounds tempting. It would be so much easier to just have a bottle. And Joel could feed her too, then. I guess part of it is that I will feel guilty about not trying really hard to breastfeed if I don't. It's like I know that tons of people bottle feed and everything and it's not like it's that big of a deal, but I still feel like I need people to tell me it's okay. Oh well, I'll figure it out. I just need sleepppp.

Anyway, I'm going to go check on the baby and find out if Joel has woken up yet.

current mood: exhausted

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Monday, August 15th, 2005
3:35 pm - boredom strikes
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Saturday, August 13th, 2005
12:32 am
I am freaking tired, but I'm so freakin' hot right now and I don't feel like sleeping yet. Tomorrow is my last day of work for two months (maybe more if I can stretch my vacation time out a little). I am so ready to be out of there. I'm hoping I won't have to go back; I want to find another position at the Fred Meyer on Johnson Creek. If it weren't for the insurance, I'd ditch the company completely. But alas.

I'm due to have Shayla two weeks from Sunday. I can't believe that I'm already nine months pregnant. I'm so ready to have this baby. I know I'll probably miss being pregnant simply because of all the responsibility that comes with taking care of a newborn, but right now I'm so uncomfortable I cannot deal. Shayla is kicking me non-stop. Which is, of course, good because an active baby is a healthy baby. But it's very distracting.

I had my 38 week appointment today. So far, no more weight gain. The doctor estimated that Shayla is around five and a half to six pounds, but she said she can be off by a pound, so it's just an idea. Everything seems like it's going perfectly. I turned in all my pre-registration paperwork, so all I need to do now is go into labor. :) The next two weeks is going to be an eternity.

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Thursday, July 7th, 2005
5:03 pm
It's been a long time since I've updated. Hmm. Well, I guess I haven't been up to much. Just working and getting more uncomfortable as time goes on. But everything seems to be going well. Shayla's kicking like crazy all the time. My next doctor's appointment is on Monday.

Blah, I really hate that it's been so freakin' hot out lately. I really like the sun, but hate frying in it. Especially since heat kills me twice as much now.

I got off work a couple hours ago and I'm bored. Joel is in California until Sunday for his brother's graduation from boot camp so I miss him. I've been working every day, which keeps me semi-occupied. I like working 6:30-3, but I haven't been able to sleep like at all for the past few nights and it sucks. I wish that time would go by faster, because the whole insomnia thing/getting up way too frickin' much to go to the bathroom is getting really old.

I, however, now hate working forty hours a week because it's killing me. Oh, well, only a couple more months and I'm gone for eight weeks.

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Monday, June 6th, 2005
6:59 pm
Ahh, I love days off. Of course, I still had to be up early for my doctor's appointment, since it was at 9:30. But that was alright. I had to do the glucose test which required me to chug this...I'm guessing 12-14 oz bottle of sugary, carbonated orange pop tasting liquid in five minutes. It was sick. And if you don't drink all of it in five minutes, you must drink it all over again. Then, an hour later, I had to have my blood drawn to check and see how my blood sugar was.

It was funny because I was saying to Joel how good they are at taking my blood because it takes them live five seconds to get what they need and the poke barely hurts, and now I have this gnarly bruise from it. That's never happened before. Oh well, as long as it doesn't take over my arm.

After my appointment, Joel and I went down and took the MAX over to the Rose Festival. That was kind of fun, but there were not nearly as many booths as there used to be and since I can't go on any rides due to baby Shayla, it could've been better. I did get a caramel apple and the Sno-Cone I've been craving, so that was nice.

Then, we came back and at lunch at Azteca and I got more maternity clothes today at J.C. Penny. They were having a sale, so of course I had to be there. Spending more money. *rolls eyes at self*

When are the last days of school for everyone anyway? I would love to hang out this week before the baby shower since I have time.

Anyway, I'm tired so I'm going to go lay down and be tortured by watching basketball because Joel is addicted.

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Friday, June 3rd, 2005
11:57 am
Blah, I just slept way too late. Until 11:30. I've been so freaking tired lately, though, that I can't yank myself out of bed before then if work allows me to stay there for that long. My next doctor's appointment is on Monday. I really hope that I haven't become iron-deficient or something.

Other than that, doing pretty well. Growing out of my jeans is happening as we speak and I do not approve, because I cannot find any maternity pants that aren't freaky or $40. Oh well, I'll just have to live in shorts. I wish that I had a scanner so I could post a picture of my belly. But alas. Maybe if I ever go over to my father's. The one picture I have isn't that great anyway because for some reason it blurred really badly. I have a good one from four months, but you can't even see anything.

It's really stupid that I haven't seen my dad in like six months. I love how he lives like ten minutes away but never makes an effort to invite me over or something. I know it works both ways, but I don't exactly feel comfortable dropping by like normal people would with their families. oh well, at least I have Joel's family. I wonder if my dad and his wife are going to come to my baby shower? He hasn't told me either way.

Thank god next week I only have to work 30 hours. I gave up a day because I really wanted an extra. I'm so tired of working...at least there. Blah, I have to close tonight. So Monday, Tuesday and Thursday next week.

Wow, I'm so boring. I'm gonna go make lunch. Adios.

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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
9:01 pm
I am so tired and I have no idea why. I just got off work, which wasn't that strenuous, but I am freaking exhausted. Blahhh. I'm actually sort of hungry as well, but don't have the energy to make anything to eat.

Last weekend was really awesome. I got a four day vacation from work which was the best thing ever. I definitely needed it. Friday, I went to "Beauty and the Beast" at Clackamas High School with Joel's mom. I was awed by the performance, by the auditorium, by the costumes, by the set....it was really good. It made me miss being in plays.

Saturday, Joel and I went to the beach with his parents. We stayed at this place called the Inn at Otter Crest, which is between Depoe Bay and Newport. We had two huge rooms with a great view of the ocean. We walked down on the beach, which turned out to be tide pool central, so I saw tons of starfish, etc. As well as seals all over the place. They're actually really tame, so we were seriously two feet away from them. We also did lots of shopping (I got so many cute baby clothes at the OshKosh outlet) and got some cute stuff at the Motherhood maternity outlet. I still need to buy pants thoughhh....gah, the cute ones that actually look like real pants are so expensive.

Sunday, Joel felt the baby kick for the first time, which was nice. She usually stops kicking whenever he tries to feel, but she was all over the place this time. Oh, and we decided on a name:

Shayla Nicole Edge

My mom apparently doesn't like it since I just talked to her and told her what it was and she kept telling me I should name her Kendra (the week before mother's day she was suggesting Crystal), but everyone else I've told seems to think it's cute. So whatev.

*sighs* I have to be at work at 6:30AM tomorrow. I'm working entirely too much. Forty hours never seemed like anything before, but now I just want a break. Even though I just got a four day break. There will never be enough breaks from this job. Seriously. At least I only have to close once next Wednesday. I have to work 10:30 to 7:30 every other day and my only days off are Monday and Tuesday. Blah. Oh well, I will survive, I suppose.

Gonna go eat a cinnamon roll. Because I'm too lazy to eat anything else.

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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
10:24 am
Hmm, not much new to report. I met Joel's grandparents from Phoenix and they seemed really nice. I didn't spend much time with them, though. Of course, his grandma was like, "So, have you two decided on a wedding date?" I just looked at Joel and Joel decided to humor her and say, "No, we haven't discussed that part yet." As soon as we left, I asked Joel if his grandma had had plastic surgery because I swear she reminded me of Joan Rivers. Not completely of course, because that would be freaky, but she looked like she had at least had a face lift. Besides that, she was excessively tan and very blond. But, really nice, and that's all that matters.

I have another full work week this week. But at least I don't have to close. Then, the weekend after the next, I'm going to go to the beach with Joel and his parents so I'm extremely excited.

I went and visited my mom for the first time since Christmas yesterday. I am seriously such a horrible child for never making time to go over there. Bahhh, I can make all the excuses I want, but I need to stop, because I really CAN make time to visit every now and then, not like once every five months. I especially need to do so after baby is born. I really want her to be close to her extended family because I never was. I mean, I know without a doubt she'll be close to Joel's side considering how his family is. But I want her to have both. At least one is better than none like I have though.

I've been feeling the baby move more and more and last night was probably the most so far. Joel, of course, was asleep because it was like 12:30AM, and it was freakin' bizarre, because I feel kicking at first, which is odd enough to get used to. Then, after about five minutes of this, I feel her turn over, which was, I don't know, ticklish or uncomfortable or something because it was making me freak out. I don't even know how to describe it. I'm babbling. Anyway, I'm sure my sleep is going to be disturbed by this soon.

Today, Cass and I might hang out. I have Joel's car again, which is nice. I want to do a little more shopping for clothes, as if I need to spend more money. I went to Motherhood Maternity last week and bought a couple dresses. They're both really cute, but the black and white polka dot one is the cutest ever. It better be, since I spent $30 on it. That really may not seem like much, but when you think about the fact that I'm CHEAP and don't spend more than $10 on a shirt...

Well, anyway, I think I'm going to finish reading my book, then I'm going to take a shower and get ready to do something with my day.

current mood: cheerful

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Monday, April 25th, 2005
5:43 pm
Had my 22 week appointment today. Yeah, it was scheduled for 3:00PM. I don't get called back into the exam room by the medical assistant until about 3:30. I don't even get SEEN by the doctor until like 4:30. Seriously, I was sitting in the room seething because it was taking sooo long and it wasted soo much time. Bahhh.

Anyway, everything seems to be going fine. I have gained freakin' seven pounds. In six weeks. But, ah, the joys of pregnancy. Baby is doing fine and should be moving more in the next couple weeks. I can feel her now every now and then. I can't wait until I feel her all the time.

I've been working way too much lately and I hope that slacks off soon, because it's not even worth the money to me. I have 36 hours this week. Which wouldn't have bothered me in the past but now wears me out. Especially since whenever I sleep I am dreaming about something really retarded and feel like I haven't slept at all. Yeah, twice in the past week, I have dreamt about vampires. Why? Who knows...and don't even get me started on the work dreams.

I want to go get some new clothes since some of mine seem to be showing too much belly now. Heh. Maybe I will borrow Joel's car and do so tomorrow. I'm meeting Joel's grandparents on his dad's side tomorrow. Should be fun times.

let's hang out soon.

current mood: okay

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Monday, April 11th, 2005
6:22 pm
*Drum roll please* It's a girl! I am not going to doubt women's intuition again, because I totally knew it this entire time. I'm very excited. I would have been excited either way, but I was starting to really get attached to the idea of having a little girl, so yay!

It was a very long ultrasound today and I love everyone for coming and being there for my big moment. Well, big moment other than birth. Hah. But you guys need to be there too. Well, not in the room because that would be gross, but there at the hospital anyway. :)

Joel kind of wanted a boy, but he's happy. His mom and dad are really happy too because they don't have any girls in the family so this will be something different for them to experience. I like told everyone ever today.

I just finished doing my taxes. Heh, way to freakin' slack off and wait till the last second, huh? But, better late than never. I have $355 coming to me from federal and $120 from state, so that will be a nice little bonus.

Well, gonna go spend time with Joel's family...so I'll update more later. Adios.

current mood: excited

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Saturday, April 9th, 2005
5:40 pm
Okay, what the hell, I was just outside and it was raining and I just glanced out the window and it's sunny. Bahhh. I hate the rain and want the sun to stay.

I'm bored and hungry. I just got off work and Joel's over at his parents' house and I have an empty house. I haven't been up to much of anything, just working, working, and more working. And sleeping. I don't sleep well because I'm constantly dreaming vividly. Last night, according to Joel I was thrashing and freaking out while sleeping and woke him up because I was mumbling so loudly. I seriously want to barf at the prospect of working tomorrow, but alas. At least I have Monday off.

Monday=next ultrasound. I will let everyone know the results. I'm way excited. More so after going shopping for my friend Sara's baby shower yesterday. Melissa and I got a little carried away and bought tons of things.

I would really like to get out and do something, like, now, but am too lazy and pessimistic to try to find something to do. Maybe I'll just shop for books online.

current mood: blah

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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
10:12 am
Blah, I'm still slightly tired, even though it's 10:13, but I had to get up because I'm hungry. Blahhh. I had a day off yesterday and a day off today, which is very nice, but I've been doing absolutely nothing. Yesterday mostly because I'm freakin' lazy and didn't even get into the shower until like 4:00. Then, I got all hot (laughs) and Joel came home and then we just went to Blockbuster to get another movie and I cooked spaghetti and made salad for dinner.

I really would like to go shopping or something today. I really would like company. I can't go alone anyway, because I couldn't borrow Joel's car since he had to drive to the shop all the way in Aurora today. Bah. And it's raining so I am not taking the bus. Not as if I really need to spend more of my money on clothes, I just kind of want to buy something cute, like a new shirt or something for Easter since I will be meeting more of Joel's extended family. Any excuse, I suppose.

I'm in awe because I actually got it off, which rarely happens when I request days off, especially on the weekend. In fact, I have the entire weekend off...Saturday, Sunday, and then probably Monday as well, since I am supposed to start getting Mondays off on a regular basis.

Oh, and my next ultrasound will be on April 11, so that is when I will find out if I will be having a boy or a girl. Very excited. :)

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